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IS SANTA A WOMAN???
 
 


This seems so appropriate for the holidays, particularly for those of us
who are responsible for all of the Christmas shopping and prep work!
Merry Christmas!

I think Santa Claus is a woman....
I hate to be the one to defy a sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it.
Christmas is a big,organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time
believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
  For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about
selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem
surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood
rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a
woman.
  Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up
Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree,
still in the bag.
  Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of
all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted
and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate
claims that buck season had been extended.
Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
  Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have
transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in
the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
  Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
  - Men can't pack a bag.
  -Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
-Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.
  - Men don't answer their mail.
  - Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in
jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
  - Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
  - Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
  - Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
  I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are
men.........
  - Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous
definite guy.
  - Cupid flies around carrying weapons.
  - Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.
  Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test.
But not St. Nick. Not a chance.
  Author ... unknown WOMAN